Happy New Year

Happy New Year to all my bloggies. I appreciate you all for taking the time to encourage me and follow me in this on going journey.

In 2010 the only resolution I am making is to take care of myself. It's not that hard to do and I will succeed this year.

Under the weather

I think I am coming down with a cold... I feel like my head is about to explode. My nose sounds like a squeaker toy is stuck up there.

I am keeping this short. Did not do too bad over the holidays, I am still off until next Monday. I love having time off... although it's rough to keep restriction on eating when you are home.

Took some pics of Christmas but nothing exciting... just Buddy really.

He really did not get: you have to put all of your fat ass on the new bed...

Eventually he got it.

I went for a huge walk on boxing day, took some pics.

The path was very icy so I borrowed some ice grips to put on my shoes... best invention ever!

I loved my walk without slipping. I am going out to buy a pair

Ugly bird gazebo...

We had some snow yesterday got all geared up for snow and took a pic it's the ugliest pic of me out there.... but it was soooo cold with the wind in my face. lol

I am off to lay down in comfy clothes and a cozy blanket.... because I have no energy to do anything else.

Can't think of a title for a boring post...

I am doing alright.
The bad mood and extreme sad faces I was experiencing could have been some awful PMS.

Because TOM popped up on the weekend.

I have been trying to stick to plan. Even though I am not full boot camp mode yet, the plan was to try to watch what I eat and then rock it after the holidays.
Not too bad really.

Still have no shopping done for Christmas.
I have a haircut after work so I might go after that. I also only have tomorrow left for work then I am off until January 4.

bad mood lingering

I have nothing much to say.

-I am miserable lately :(
-I have not bought one single gift for anyone.
-Not looking forward to the holidays... Although I am looking forward to having lots of time off paid!
-I got an ulcer in my eye, which is getting better but I still have to wear my glasses instead of contacts for a bit... BOOO!

Looking forward to this weekend. I have a holiday friend get together. We are all bringing appetizers and party all night.
I need EASY ideas for something to bring.

Happy Friday everyone!

WI

Holy macaroni.... I have 69 followers. WOW! I am impressed.

Now I promised myself I would WI today and start now instead of waiting until the new year.
I will WI every Wednesday morning. I will try to blog every day whether it's important information or not.

When I got on today and realized how much I had gained I was heartbroken.
Something clicked inside of me to make me realize to give it my all once again.

Today the scale told me I was 272.4lbs.... scary number for me, since at my lowest was 232, I have let myself gain back way too much.
Wish me luck as I embark on this mission again.

I know I won't see miracles this time of year, but at least I am starting a little so that when the holiday munching is done I am back to boot camp.

Weekend review

I had an OK time on Friday night. The food was good, and the drinks did not flow. I was not in the party mood at all. Left early enough to not get caught up in the drunk dancing.

Saturday I decided to spend a real Julie day... All to myself. Got my Xmas cards done, read a magazine, spent time with Buddy, danced in my living room to good songs. I decorated a little more and found the best thing ever .
I forgot I had gotten one beautiful ornament last year here are some pics.

It's great especially to see Sadie on that ornament was precious.

Today I went to my dad's nursing home for the holiday concert...every year I bitch about going but I go because I don't want him to be alone. It's alright, it's just once a year.

I am eating really good... but the plan has been set. I am starting to weigh myself again on Wednesday with a weekly report to my blogger peeps so you guys will have to be on me if I don't do good.

I need some tough love.

I leave you with the fat dog ice capades.

Watch his back legs how stretched out they are. lol!!

He makes me laugh as he does this every time he's outside and sometimes for a long time... except the clip on his leash sometimes unclips him and well he's a runner... so I need to keep a close eye on him ...he would come back to eat but I don't want him to get hurt.

Friday

Wednesday we had a snowstorm in the evening so after work I went to bf place to have supper and cuddle. I love storms!
It was a great meal but I had stopped at the store and bought chocolate snowmen filled with caramel....I hate them all. :(

I slept there which I am thinking will be easier since I live out of town and the day after a storm is too hectic to make in to work.
He had put my car in the garage so that I wouldn't have to clean it off....NICE!

Tonight is my staff party and a ex co worker's get together....well I can't divide myself in half. I am going to my party for a bit and see if it progresses into something fun, if it does I will stay if it does not I will head to the second party.
Our supper is being provided by great Vietnamese place. I can't wait to try it, i heard so many good things.
I will limit my drinking.... after all I have only been a new job for almost 3 months. Don't want to be dancing on tables just yet.

It snowed overnight Saturday and Sunday I woke up to this.

I love snow!

We played in the snow.

I felt like decorating so I did... now I put about 6 decorations and that's it. Not too festive around here but here are some of my favs:

This kept me from eating everything in sight.

So tonight I am finally doing my christmas cards so that my hands are too busy to snack.

Cards Anyone?

OK so i am not in the holiday spirit at all....

1. I have gained so much weight and yet seem to prefer to be off the wagon. GRRR
2. I am struggling financially, so Christmas shopping is far in my mind.
3. it' s hard to imagine a Christmas morning without Sadie being nosy in all the gifts.
and much more reason but that's enough whining....

Plan A to get in the spirit :
I am writing up my Xmas cards tonight... I love getting some(I rarely do) but I love to write some up for others.
So if someone out here in blog land wants one...and of course send one back to be fair.

Please write me a email.

julieleb2006@hotmail.com

Thanks to each and everyone of you who took the time to write me a comment.

It's comforting to know I have people around me during a very difficult time, even if it's by internet.

So yesterday I only went to work in the morning, could not stay the whole day. The lack of sleep, emotions running wild, I had to just go.

I came home, went for a really long walk with Bud and we both crashed on the couch for a cat nap.

Here's a pic of us on our walk...Buddy is so black you can't see him, I don't look that happy but it was freaking cold with the wind.

I am off to work today, it gets easier everyday people tell me.
Again THANK YOU!!!

I decided to scrap my idea of a card exchange, but to those of you who send me address I will send you one ;)

RIP Sadie

To my girl who was the best companion for 9 years.

I had to say goodbye tonight.

Very hard to do.

She had been the best dog, perfect guard, fun, and loving.

She was there when no one else was. She truly was my baby girl and I will miss her deeply.

I am OK now. It helps that I have Buddy who will keep my strong. Having another dog to take care of helps.

I have no guilt. I feel I did the right thing.

Goodbye Sadie girl. xo

I hope you are in doggy heaven eating all the plastic burgers you can :)

Maybe this has nothing to do with weight loss but it's a huge part of who I am.

Crossing my fingers to win these babies

Ugg boots...
I had promised myself once I lost all my weight they would be my ultimate goal gift. However if I can win them, even better.
So this post is to enter the contest, feel free to check them out. Contest link

Friday... Finally!

My slow cooker meal... not a hit.
I remembered I don't love pineapples... and I cut the recipe in half but forgot to cut the amount of canned pineapples. Stupid move on my part!
It was ok.
Here is a disgusting pic of it....I was in a rush so I had no time to be a professional photog.


The best part of my meal... mini WW rolls.
I love buns with this kind of meal.


I did have leftovers for lunch yesterday and it was better. So it was a hit and miss for me.

Not much going on with me...
I am going to a Christmas craft fair after work.
I intend of playing it very quiet this weekend, I have Monday off so that helps!

Have a happy Friday!!

Hump day

I have the day off today. I love having days off during the week. I got up and wanted to try a new chicken recipe in the slow cooker.

-chicken
-bbq sauce
-pineapple
-veggies: onion, green pepper, carrots and mushrooms
Should be tasty... will let you know with pics tomorrow.

Sadie is stable. Turns out there is a magic pill to make her stop puking.
Day two on the meds and she has kept down everything. She is still not excellent but as the vet put it.... She still has a will to life and until she looses that then we can make her comfortable.
I am keeping my fingers crossed to make it over the holidays. One day at a time.

I also got my coupon from spunkysuzi for a free bottle of laundry detergent. Thanks!!

I can't wait to try it.

Friday

wow... I can't believe how much of life I have let go.
This blog is not what I want it to be. I need to update more often, speak more openly, and just be my old self.

I am not where I want to be, in fact the scale keeps going up.

Bf and I have had a long talk and we are giving this one more go.

My dog is really sick. I have cleaned up puke twice a day for three days... I swear my carpet looks like a polka dot mess. I have to try to make her better... but I think it's time I make the hardest decision of my life. I am going to try one more thing this weekend and if that does not work I will make arrangements :(

Work has been the crazyiest ever this week. It was expected so I had prepared myself. I am looking forward to next week my boss is gone so I get to relax and breath a little with a day off in the week.

OK so today I say :
I will shit or get off the pot
I will jump back on the wagon
My cravings will not get a grip on me
Work stress will not be an excuse to run in a drive thru
relationship woes are not to be ignored by eating candy, chips or chocolate.

I need to start working out again.... that's my project for the week find something to do.

Today is remembrance day and I have to say all my thoughts are with my good friend Mike who is now in Afghanistan.
He's such a good man and I hope he stays safe.

I feel grateful that people dedicate their lives to help us keep freedom in our country.

I am still doing OK food wise.
I had a slip up or two during the past week, but nothing to derail me complete off track.

I am still not weighing myself yet. I will get into that addiction when the time is right.
Although I do jump on once in awhile just to say hello old friend.

Things are not so smooth on this end, it's rough going with the relationship. I maybe single again in the near future.

Anyways the temperature here is really mild this week, which is good.

Well to be honest I have had a terrible couple of days, so I don't feel like writing much about food and weight.

Checking in

So I am back on the wagon, doing pretty good.

On Halloween night I had some popcorn that was orange, that was my treat. Yumm!!

I bought clementines which I adore. So I love when I have something in the house that is a easy snack.

So the bf has decided to try to loose weight. He decided on a low carb diet.... I hate DIETS. Just because i know as soon as you stop it's packing on the pounds in double. I am being really supportive and I really hope he looses enough to be happy and just pick a healthier lifestyle.

Anyways with my mother and bf on a weight loss plan, it helps to keep me focused.

Opinions, please!

I really need opinions on the H1N1 flu shot.

I am on the fence and really trying to figure out what I am going to do.

Please tell me what you all think, no need for a long debate, just looking for different outlooks.

Already Wednesday, yay!

Had a great weekend in Halifax, NS!

We went out for the show and then went to the Lower Deck for some music and booze.

Towards the end of the night we danced our little heart aways.

I did good food wise, did lots of exercise... which leads me to the next issue

I have a major ass blister on my foot from all the walking, standing, dancing in bad high heels :(

I am only now starting to walk back on it fully. Better to look good then be comfy when your out on the town. Yes I learned my lesson.

Here's a shot from the hotel bathroom getting ready.

I have been doing good all week but still not hard enough. I need that extra push that will really help me going.

I hope everyone is having a great week!

Happy Friday

I made a kick ass supper the other night.

Inside scoop here: I am not a good cook, it does not come naturally to me. Therefore I never invite people over to eat. That's counting the new bf.

Wednesday morning I got up and decided to make my tried and true roast recipe, with the exception of putting it in the slow cooker all day. I had never tried that way. WOW! It was so good.

Now it's a great recipe for non-cooks like me, but it's not super healthy. It's loaded with sugar.

Roast
Onion soup mix
Ketchup
dark pop
Veggies
Potatoes
That's it!

I took pics but it ended up looking like something you would feet the mutts. It was super delish and bf loved it :)

I am headed to work for a short day, I am off to Halifax to see a amazing band called Naturally 7, check out YouTube if you can. They are 7 men who don't use ANY instruments, but their voice and I swear it sounds just like there is a full band.
This is my third time seeing them and I am positive that I will be amazed again.
We sleep there tonight, three friends and I , so it's a girl get away weekend. YAY!!!!

Have a happy Friday!

Meetings

Two weeks ago, I went with my mom to see what TOPS was all about. The one we went to were run by very elderly people(nothing wrong with old folks) just not very energetic. They don't have common sense to keep stuff private, all they wanted to do was talk about so and so twin girls. Nothing food related.
Longest meeting in my life.

Yesterday, we went to another TOPS meeting in a different location because we heard it was better and french. So we are bilingual we decided to try it.
Well it was better, but I was still bored out of my mind.
So on the way home, we were talking about it. I think in reality I am just not a meeting person .

When I was attending WW meetings I would be constantly thinking is this almost over... Although in the beginning it really helped me after like 6 mths I just stop staying for the meetings.
I can't imagine had I stuck around for the meetings for 2 yrs.

So now there is another option tonight. There is a woman who has meetings and WI today . I heard it was just the Canadian food guide and half price to WW. I'm thinking about going.

Maybe I am just not a meeting person, the stepping on the scale in front of someone else is enough to keep me accountable.

So the question is ... Do I join TOPS and pay 2$ a week only to get weighted in.?
Do I try tonight to see what that's like??
Do I bend over so I can get a virtual kick in the butt and start my good habits again, maybe even WI by pic and post it once a week.?
Very confused!

Monday chat

All last week the weather turned to cold quick rapidly. I had to scrape my car windows...Brrr!

At least this morning it's rain.

Did OK food wise on the weekend.

Bf and I went for a long drive. He's fun because he's not from here so I get to show him stuff that I did in my past.

We used to go to a creek to swim in a little waterfall when I was a late teen. It was so much fun. One of the best places hidden in the woods.

There is a lookout point, I had to keep reminding him that did not mean make out point...

Here are some pics of that. Not us making out but I got him to take a pic of me, not the most flattering.

Another award!

Thanks to blendergrl for this great award. I love these things :)

Instructions are to copy these 35 questions and fill them in with the answers that suit you then pass it on to 6 favorite bloggers (notify them that you've given them an award!)

35 Questions:

1)Where is your cell phone? Purse

2)Your hair? Brown

3)Your mother? Caring

4)Your father?-Long story

5)Your favorite food?Fries

6)Your dream last night? Showering at Oprah's show.

7)Your favorite drink? Slings

8)Your dream/goal? Financial stable

9)What room are you in?- living room

10)Your hobby? Taking drives, pictures, scrapbooking, reading

11)Your fear? Robbery

12)Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy

13)Where were you last night? Home

14)Something that you aren't? Positive

15)Muffins?-Blueberry

16)Wish list item?-No debt

17)Where did you grow up? Moncton

18)Last thing you did? Shower

19)What are you wearing? a robe

20)Your t.v.? it's ok

21)Your pets? dogs

22)Friends? few

23)Your life? getting better

24)Your mood? It's morning... Need i say more?

25)Missing someone? Nope

26)Vehicle? Piece of shit

27)Something your not wearing? Underwear

28)Your favorite store? Shoppers drug mart

29)Favorite color? Blue

30)Last time you laughed? Last night

31)Last time you cried? Monday night

32)Best friend? Tammy

33)One place that I go to over and over? My mom's

34)One person who emails me regularly? Friends from my old work

35)Favorite place to eat? Boyfriends house when he's cooking.

I would nominate people but most of my bloggy friends already got it or already had there names picked.

Turkey Day

It's a day off with turkey dinner... YUMMERS!
I could reflect on why I am thankful, but I think I would just repeat myself from other posts.

Last night, BF and I celebrated our own little Thanksgiving our way. Chicken burgers, veggies, and potatoes. It was soooo good! He is a wonderful chef :)

Today we have the actual turkey dinner with all the trimmings with my grandparents and parents.

I was thinking these past couple of days. I want to organize a holiday card exchange. I had participated in one when I chatted on the WW boards. I love receiving Christmas cards and sending them, but in the last year it got a bit boring. Same people, family, vet and that's it.
Please leave me a comment that you would be interested or email me if you prefer. ( I know it's far away just wondering if anyone would be interested)
julieleb2006@hotmail.com

For my Canadian friends have a happy Thanksgiving!

Award time

Thanks to the beautiful Natasha for given me the award. It could not have came at a better time. It's time to face the truth and realize it's time to move forward again.

1. My father was a jerk when I was younger. Then he got divorced, got sick and now is a change man in some ways.... It's a little to late to know accept his I love you's.

2. I am a fashion critic. I hate people who wear their pj's to the grocery store. This makes me think everyone critics what you are wearing therefore I tend to try to look presentable even just at the corner store.

3. My initial reason for trying to lose the weight 3 yrs ago. Was because I knew guys did not date obese girls. I just wanted a man.

4. I am a follower. I so want to be accepted by everyone. Example. In my new job they go out to

eat once a week. Well the right thing to do was to eat my lunch that I had packed.... But nope I want them to like me so much I went out with them.

5. My first and only boyfriend was my ex. We were 17 yrs old. He was my first everything. Guys were not interested in the little chubby girl in school.

6. I don't keep friends... can't be bothered to make the effort. At this age it's even harder. They all have kids and married. The friends I did keep are close and dear to me.

7. I still have very low self esteem. Refer back to back to #1. My dad never hit my mother or I but did mentally abuse her and well was harsh on me. I still think I am fat and ugly. Do I look better at 260 lbs then I did at 360 lbs ...hell yes but still can't find good stuff to say about myself.

8. I don't poop anywheres but home or my mothers.

9. I think I could live without sexual intercourse.... I mean sure it's fun to tickle and play around there , but actual sex...nah I am happy without unwanted pregnancy lol ( I have a paranoia that even while on birth control pills I will get preggers)

10. I love my blog friends that stop in and encourage me even thought I may not have the best blog, the best pics, or the best weight loss results but it keeps me focused. Thanks to each and

everyone of you!

Edit- not sure why it's all glued together I tried fixin it... but blogger sucks donkey ass.

It restarts on Tuesday

OK so my refocus... is not back.

I ate horrible this week.

Pizza, mexican restaurant, and of course Mcdonalds.

The job got the best of me. I was overwhelmed, completely drained energy. So lack of motivation.

Now I am not throwing in the towel . I have decided that my mother and I are joining something together.

She has a friends that joined TOPS and is doing really well and it's cheap.

Which is perfect since my car needs major repairs, I need to save my money.

So that starts Tuesday, it's good to have someone come with me and I just need to be accountable to someone else. If that makes sense.

This weekend, bf and I took his son and went to a little place about 1 1/2 hour away.

They have a super cool corn maze and big playground for the kids. Here are some pics.

Refocus chili head

I stepped on the scale which I had avoided for the past months.

If you follow my blog you will know I am a scale addict and I think it's what keeps me in line.

I knew I was fluctuating and I did not want to admit it was going up.

Today I stepped on it to help me refocus.

The number was too high for my liking....260.8lbs. It's just what I needed a quick slap on the cheek.

I made chili in the slow cooker the other day, except I ended up draining most of the juice out because I don't like soups. I measured wrong and put a bit too much of broth. oops!

I browned lean ground turkey and light Italian sausages(skin removed) added taco seasoning and spices.

Added mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, beans, string beans and broth

Today for my lunch I added in some rice, can't wait for noon. lol!!