I have never missed this much work in three years being in that office. I could not get out of bed this morning. So I called in said I would be late but then realized I am not in the mood to go back to work.
I am sitting at the doctors office right now. I know something is not right.
Yesterday I wrote to dude #2 (open a can of worms) about why I heard nothing in a week. He wrote back what I believe to be a heartfelt email. I talked to him on the phone. Due to him being a widower he was falling hard for me for the first time in 4 yrs since he lost her. He is a fear or commitment only because he is afraid of loosing me like he did her. Oh shit now I'm crying at the clinics office :(

I will update you guys more tonight. Also I finally uploaded pics so I will share some to get my mind off my sadness.

Sicko

Home sick today.
I felt bad calling in because I never do but I could not drag myself out of bed. I feel like someone beat me with a rolling pin.

If I hear one more time that I probably have the swine flu I am kicking someone's ass... Just because I was on a plane does not mean I come back with it. Although I am proceeding to google the symptoms after this. lol!

Hang in there with me please... I will catch up and will return to regular posting. AND yes I will post an update on new dude.

Home and sick

I am back home!

I had a nice trip. I just wished I did not catch my worst cold ever on my last day there. :(
I feel like the death is knocking on my door.
Back to work this morning, should be hell...

I will post pics once I feel better and I will catch on your blogs. Hang in there it could be a couple of days.

Coming home

I had a alright trip nothing too exciting. I caught a really bad cold really fast. It started yesterday, and by last night I was knocked out.

Not looking forward to my plane ride at all.
However someone special is picking me up from the airport and I fly into a different city so we have to drive like 3 hrs to get home it should be nice although I am so stuffed up I have no idea how he is going to understand me.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

I am at a Red Lobster for the first time. I must say I believe I fell in love with the biscuits.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

I am hoping this works!
I have arrived in Edmonton, Alberta and its much nicer then I expected. Yesterday was not great try to get a group of 8 to agree on stuff is a pain in the ass.

I was tired , grumpy,homesick, and hungry. We went to the huge ass mall for a bit. Sat in our room had a couple of drinks and that's it.

Today I don't know what the plan is.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Leaving on jet plane

Don't ask how but the travel fairies gave me a gift. I am heading to Edmonton, Alberta in less then 8 hrs. To make things more freaking amazing I got a good deal only at lunch time. So it's all moving so fast.
I doubt I am going to sleep any I am like a kid.
I will post from my crackberry! lol!!
Takes lots of pics... be warned.

Takes for all your good thoughts and I will try not to stuff my face with super good food.

blah

I am in TOM pain... I have terrible cramps.
I am not looking forward to get on the scale tomorrow morning.

Not going on my trip... Prices sky rocketed big time. Oh well that will teach me to procrastinate.

That's it for now...just thought I would bitch it out.

Monday

-Vacation over
-I don't want to go back to work
-Met a new dude...
-Spent the past three nights on the phone with new dude until sun rise....literally
-Talking to new dude has helped me not eat mindless at night
-I really don't want to return to work
-PLEASE do a travel wish to me... Today is the day I try to book my trip....The prices have been fluctuating big time. I am hoping they go down today.

2 days in 1 post

Yesterday I went to a local tourist attraction... I had never been to.

It celebrates my descent. Which is Acadian...Many of you don't get that but hey I thought I would share some pics of the place anyways.

Fat squirrel

The cool little walkway to get to the island.

This woman is legendary to our culture. The attraction is based on her character and she is the woman who started it all in written and plays. She still performs in her character and I was lucky enough to be there on her day before she retires.( she's not always dressed like this only when she is playing out the character obviously)

cool little tables and benches in the bar.

I did pretty good food wise had a sub and a pasta salad. Better then fried food.

Today I am pretty stressed, so I went to my grandparents cottage to just relax. The plan was to head to the beach but it was super cloudy and not that warm.

Here's Buddy enjoying his vacay too!

I am super stressed because I want to go to Edmonton, Alberta for a friend's wedding... and I am researching cheap flight tickets. Realizing I don't have alot of money but it's a great opportunity to travel. Keep your fingers crossed for a good deal!

WI Results and Super NSV

Today was my WI day:

I lost 1.2 lbs... I will gladly except that.

Monday I went shopping for a bathing suit... I ended up with a shirt and the cutest black dress.
I have never worn a dress unless for a wedding or special event. As my best friend put it... Every girl needs a black dress.

The best part it's really nice on. I may take a pic of it... if I ever wear it. lol!
The even better part... IT"S A SIZE 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know what you are thinking" hey Julie that's still plus size" I know... but to a girl who 3 yrs ago was fitting in a 30-32 that's freaking amazing.

Vacation day 2

Today I woke up too early did not sleep well and all I wanted to do was sit, pout my lips and eat.

I sat on my ass until after lunch then I decided to head into some trails ( my fav exercise) with my mutts.

First: Car stalls while still in the driveway, turn around check the oil... yup it needed some bad. I filled her up with oil and the car stalled a couple of times but I decided to take a chance. I made it just fine.

Second :Went out to some trails I always have wanted to walk in only 10 min drive from my home...

I get there looks ok until I spot a huge sign ( forgot to take pic) Warning bear sightings recently... Ya no.... I got back in my car. One look at me and the bear is thinking buffet.

the thought of going back home sounded excellent but I decided to head into town and go a nature park famous for it's extensive walking trails. I have never been so why not on day 2 of my vacay.

Out in the woods came some swarm of killer mosquitoes:

I forgot this:

I did not do as long of a walk as I wanted to.. but at least I got out there.

Here are some pics:

I love walking on bumpy wooded trails.

This sign was better then the bear sighting one I saw. Although I hate birds, owls seem harmless.

Too funny to watch the dogs not know how to walk the plank

Me looking tired

Goodbye old friend

I have had the same cell for like 7 yrs... In the last year everyone i know laughs, points, stares and comments on my dinosaur like cell.

I loved my cell. It was tough and really good. It could call and text people... most of the time.

Here I am with old buddy... I will miss you.

Here I am with my new bestest cell buddy... Mr. red hot Blackberry!

I will be able to email, update facebook, take pics and other shit. I have not read the manual yet. Does anyone know if I can blog??? WOW that would be awesome.

I must warn you there will be a abundance of pics in the next couple of days.

Saturday

Yesterday after work I was having supper when my best friend called and wanted to know if I wanted to go swimming.
Her parents ( my godparents) have an outdoor pool.

I hate going because my old house (which is now occupied by my ex and his wife and step kids) is in the back yard. I hate that it's not more private but last night it was fine because everyone is gone out to a big car festival in town. BONUS! :)


I decided to go, we swam from 7-10 pm in a heated pool... It was soooo nice!

This is the pool... but without all the balls. This was taking at a party.


She is like my sister, my best friend since she was born.( she's 3 yrs younger then me) I love her!
We laugh so much when we are together.

I had a bit of a disagreement with dude #2 .
He's all like I want to see you again. I told him I was on vacation next week that I would come up or he could come down on his days off... He said he was trying to work out a day we could spend together. But that it was hard because he is trying to juggle "responsibilities and desire" and that it was hard.... WTF???
If he was that into me like he says he is he would make the time... and what responsibilities???
I don't want to wait around for him to figure out if he wants something out of this.
I came to the conclusion that he may be stuck in his single ways and not read to make room for someone in his life.
Should I say "see ya" to this one????? HELP!

Right before this all happened I had just hung up with my ex ( we are still talking) we might be heading to Edmonton Alberta for a wedding in a couple of weeks.
I wanted to check with him to make sure it was OK I tagged along with the gang and also that it would not start shit on his side of the fence.
We are sooo cool about it that I knew it would not be awkward but I just wanted to make sure since his step daughter will be with him.

If I can find a cheap enough plane ticket I am there. I have a hotel room for nothing, and I really need a getaway vacation. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Today I am off to suntan in this nice weather we are experiencing.

Have a good Saturday!!

Friday

Today is my last workday before vacation starts. YAY!

The weather is really nice and they are saying it's going to be like that for the whole week. Double yay!!!

I want to thank everyone for yesterday. It was not a pity post and I was being sarcastic when I said I did not know what happened.

I am slacking off and I have been slacking for about a year. It's a tough road...

I wish I had friends like you guys living closer. I need an exercise buddy and someone I can call and talk to when I am down.

Ok well off to work...

Stupid WI

I hate my scale.

It showed I gained 2.6 lbs.

I have no idea what the heck happened.

Pizza and cookies were on the menu this week... I am thinking there might be more stuff that I am forgetting. No exercise in three months is bound to catch up. Yuck I hate it when I suck.

Well brush off and move on.

The boss gave me a week vacation next week... I have not taken a full week in 3 years. I am so excited.
I don't know what to do with myself.
-a day at the beach
-a day with dude #2
-A road trip day... maybe Halifax

I hope the weather is nice and I hope I can stay away for a whole week of work.

Thank you Tricia!

I had a nice little video post prepared and then I tried to replay it once on the computer it's all wonky...so please be patient while I try to figure out how to do it.

Now yesterday got home from work and I had a nice little package from a super cool girl.

Tricia over at Fight fat Phobia she is awesome, she sent me some little gifts. Thanks!!!!

I love free stuff... I really do!

I once sent away for diapers... I do not have kids. Weird right?!

It started out with some really cool Simpson stamps on the envelope.

I opened it up to find a little note. It was like reading one of her post but yet talking directly to me.

The all and mighty Fight Fat Phobia sticker... ( I will display some place where all my Canadian friends can see it)

Then a unexpected little surprise a bracelet (Tricia, did you do it yourself??) with my name on it.

It's going to be useful this summer at a few events I have planned. I might not remember my name by the end of the night so I will wear proudly my Tricia made bracelet.

Longest Monday post

Ok so Friday night I did nothing. When I got to court I spend half an hour getting prepped only to find out that it had been cancelled because he had already been sentenced the beginning of June...I was so pissed off. Happy I did not have to testify but upset that someone messed up big time.

Saturday, I got up did a little cleaning as Dude #2 had said he was maybe coming into town. At around noon he called to say he was going up to see a buddy in another town... I got disappointed. He said he was sorry he did not think we had big plans written in stone it was always just a maybe thing.
I am not sure what to think...
He did text my cell that night and the next morning.
He works nights today and tomorrow but he has Wednesday and Thursday off... He better make up for it. Either he comes down or at least we talk a long time on the phone....

Then my best friend(who has three children under the age of 3) called for me to babysit her 8 mth old twin girls... They are cute and pretty easy to take care or.
But I swear I left there and wanted to glue my legs together...most effective birth control.

Her and I went out to see her cousin ( who is a really good friend to me) who was down from Alberta. He is getting married in two weeks and came down to see everyone who could not make it. I was super excited to see everyone but he and his fiance had not seen me in 3 yrs... imagine the reaction ;)

I spent the next day all blah and down. I have been on this emotional roller coaster I keep blaming the gray crappy rainy weather but I don't know anymore.
-I was depressed that I did not have a huge ass engagement ring and a really good guy.
-It rained all weekend.
-I hate pizza and three cookies, felt guilty about it.
-I don't know what to think about dude #2 anymore.
-My dad is giving me a hard time... he's in one of his depresso moods. It's hard to deal with .

I think I need a vacation!!

Friday

I am up bright and early... Did not sleep much in the last week. I needed to get up earlier I am off to make my way to court.
It's not something I am looking forward to I hate stuff like this. I did not do anything wrong I was just a witness and hopefully he will plead guilty so I don't have to take the stand.

I did like my Bon Jovi concert, it was a good time and he really does rock a show. I just hate our outdoor setup for when you get 30,000 leaving all at once. What a headache to get out of that place. It felt like a herd of cows walking in the field.

I did spend more time with dude #2. I went up to his town and we spend the entire evening together on Tuesday. I slept there and we spend most of the afternoon together. It was great, I do have feelings, I think we are going to try to make it work between us.
NO I did not get laid, I actually slept in the spare bedroom in his house.... that is not to say there was not kissing or touching.. come I have needs too!! lol!
I did not feel self conscious, you guys were right. Men don't care once you are in the moment.

Well off to meet Judge Judy! ;)

WI results

Just a quick note to give my WI results.

I stepped on the scale 248.8 lbs, that's a 3.4 lbs loss from last week. YAY!

I promise a bigger post either later this evening or tomorrow morning.