eeeek!!!

I am having some anxiety about my trip.

I am 7 days away from flying into New York, and the butterflies are just fluttering in my stomach.
What is gonna happen if I can't fit in the seats, what happens if people ridicule me , my best friend is a plus size girl too and it's just a small plan so rows of two only, but still. i don't want everyone starring at me if I need to squeeze in there.

Is this normal to feel this way?

I avoid flying for various reasons, would much rather drive but this time of year is not the best idea.
I have flown once when I was 9 and two years ago when I had lost most of my weight.

So having to gain so much weight the anxiety over flying is in overdrive.

I have a feeling I will be blogging about my experience with you all because I don't feel judged here :)

Hello 2011

I have decided not to even try to pretend the holiday season was good.... It was not.

Very difficult being the first holiday without my dad, being so down about my weight was not helping either.

I have been doing so so . Not the best, but not the worst.

I am going to get back on it when I am good and ready i know it.

A recent doctor visit revealed that i need some real good therapy and some deep searching because drugs alone will not bring me back up to the mental frame of where i need to be to gain control of my life again.

On a positive note, my best friend and I are headed to New York City in less then 2 weeks. I can say it's a dream come true for her to see NYC and it's great to be able to share that with her :)

I will try to update more often. No reason why I can't try to get some of my bloggy friends back.