Still hanging on

Thanks to everyone, once again to make me feel better and not so alone.

Just when you think tomorrow will be better, it was until around 6 pm when my body decided to say "hey what the hell, to add to your already horrible mood, I am going to surprise you with your period....a couple of days in advance."

Thanks for that, the day before my WI.

Don't expect a happy post tomorrow about my WI, I certainly won't be holding my breath for a loss.

If happens great if it does not add to my "Julie's life is crappy" list.

I guess I also have to blame the huge bag of jelly beans that was in my face at work today.

I am just hanging on to life right now for this wacky ride. It has to come to a stop.

I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason.... I just can't seem to justify a good reason why all of this is happening all at once.

Thanks again to all of those who took the time to comment yesterday, it means so much to know I write and someone actually listens.

Worst Day

I had the worst day ever..... If you are looking for a happy upbeat post, please look away this will not be it.

I had to bring my dog to the vet(again), I knew something was wrong and I was right. I am sitting her crying my eyes out. I love my dogs like they are my kids. I have never had a dog , Sadie was my baby that I raised and now she's older and full of health problems. Every pet owner will understand where I coming from...
She was sent home ( after a hefty bill) with antibiotics and hopefully it is just an infection in her liver but the vet seems to think it could be cancer.
The make it the worst day ever, there was a huge storm today (like WTF mother nature), I get home after dealing with work all day and then the vet only to find out I need to pay some taxes back to the government. COME ON!

Officially the worst day and all I want to do is close my eyes and hope I was dreaming.
Why did I feel the need to come tell you all of this... so I don't drown myself in food.

Boring

First a big thank to my girl Dina for mentioning me on her blog. I love when new people comment on here, and by her pimping me out I got new peeps!

Nothing much to report...

I made zucchini with cheese last night with my supper and it was delish.

Here's a pic of what it looked like. Not a very good pic but at least it's something to show.

All I did today was sit and watch my new favorite network... The FOOD NETWORK.Love it!!!

I was not very active today but hopefully will get a burst of energy and head into the gym tonight.

I have nothing more to say... Have a good weekend!

Holy !@#$ WI

I decided to post a pic of me after WI today.

No really I am in shock............ I don't know how but I kick some butt this week. I lost 3.4 lbs!!!!

*Queue the marching band* I am dancing right now as I write this. So happy, but will be cautious not to bust it next week.

I brought my gar to get repaired today, I have a huge piece of crap car. I don't know what the damage is yet but trust me it sounded like a lot of money when he was naming all the parts I need.( Am I suppose to know what a bushing is???)

I said it last year and I am going to say it again... Mini Eggs were made by the devil for me to give in every Easter. ( I keep picturing the little cadbury bunny laughing devilishly)

Monday update

No gym time for me this weekend.... just did not want to make the effort.

You know when you are about to start a cold, your throat aches, you are tired, your nose is starting to plug up. I have all those hanging out with me but yet they won't kick in high gear make a cold and get the hell out. They are just lingering, which for me makes it worse.

I did not do well food wise on Saturday, Sunday was much better.
I keep saying I need a new plan but I can't find anything out there that appeals to me.


It snowed yesterday, and now they are calling for about 10 cms for tonight.
HELLOOOO it's spring mother nature did you not get the memo???? Maybe her fax machine is broken...

Random Friday

-No exercise has happened. Too depressed on Wednesday, Thursday was really tired, Friday think I am coming down with a cold. I will attempt to go tomorrow.

- Can't control the hunger.

- Some dude I used to work with 6 years ago. Keeps poking me on Facebook... What's that all about???

- Next week my schedule is sooo jammed packed at work. I have to put in extra hours all week.

- At least 5 (out of 13) co workers have caught a nasty stomach flu.... Crossing my fingers and toes I don't get it.

I am going to bed to read a little (The Story of Edgar Sawtelle) then lights out because sleep will help not eat the paint on the walls and it will hopefully keep my cold at bay.

No title needed

-I suck

-Another 2 lbs gain

-Don't want to talk about it.



-Will do better this week because when you are this down there is no where to go but up...Right??

-Had a big discussion about men not dating big girls... I love how skinny people think I am the only one thinking that way. I am not the only one that feels this way ,it's just life. My office was quite divided on this subject.

-Was told I was shrinking... All I could hear in my head was "not fast enough"

Ok I need to get to work, I am super late.OOPS!!

Monday pics

Thanks to those who just added me on their follow list, thanks to those who were already there.

I did make it to the gym yesterday. I felt like crap all day and convinced myself not to go. Later on in the evening I got a burst of energy so I decided to head towards the gym.(the burst of energy could have been because I had slept all day)

I hate Mondays so I decided to share some pics to brighten up boring Monday.

Me getting ready to go down the hill on a Krazy Karpet...

Why did I take my dog downhill with me he was trying to bring me to the tree to pee...

The exercise part(no fun) going back up the hill

Miss. Sadie looking from a comfortable spot, the top of the hill.

That's not poop in the back ground it's gloves.

Me after about 1 1/2 hours of sliding

This is me on Friday at work doing the inventory...OK so this is me trying to eat the whole cake to myself...Worry not it did not happen my 3 other co workers would have not let me.

Follow me

OK, so to be honest I never really got the whole followers thing. To me it was not a big deal but for some reason I now want to get in on it.

I think I am going to broadcast my followers and I would appreciate any of you who want to add me on, that would make my day.

Yesterday I worked 5 hours of overtime to finish the inventory.It was fun the girls that stayed to help are really funny and crazy so it went well.
I had no supper ( my own fault) I was not feeling all the well( stomach issues) so I decided to skip eating...Not a good plan. Our boss had bought us a DQ treatza pizza frozen thingy... Hello yummy. That's what I had for my supper two huge pieces of ice cream cake.

I had brought my gym clothes but skipped out of it to come home and go to bed.

Today I will try to head out there before going out tonight.
We have a girl's night planned. Supper and then to a local pub to listen to music and drink a little. Should be fun!!

Right now I am waiting on my mother to get here we are going walking with the doggies, and I think I am going to go sliding on a big hill in the back yard. It's all frozen and looks like fun!!! I might take pictures, depending on how stupid I look.

Plans ruined

Yesterday did not go as planned.
First I had packed my gym stuff to head there after work. On the way to work I realized I had forgotten my card to get in and my ipod... Two big no no's.
I had convinced myself it would not be that bad I could probably get in with someone else and just not listen to music.
Right after work my boss's decided it was time to start the one on one meetings with staff. I was thinking it would be a quick 15-20 mins meeting because I am very open with them and they know where I stand. I was wrong. They had lots to say(mostly about the staff member we are having problems with) I only got out of there 2 hours after my shift. I had not eaten and was so drained I headed for home.
Sat on bum to watch Grey's and had a super late supper.

Today I have to stay late to help another department due their inventory. I would imagine we are going to be there mostly all night. I will bring my gym clothes just in case I get out at a reasonable time.

I wish I was a morning person I could wake up earlier like some of you and head to the gym before the day starts. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

Sad WI

I am so disappointed in myself.

Why do I sabotage myself every time I get so happy about where I am at. Too confident maybe??

I gained 2 lbs this week. That's pulls me out of the 125 lbs loss . I know what I did wrong I always know what I should not have done.

Back to working hard, no excuses.

Gym update

Tonight was my fourth workout in a row!!!!! WOW!!
It feels good!
That's five workout in March already so I only need 10 more to get to my gym goal.

Tonight, I had Mr. club bouncer who loves to come do cardio and talk on his cell.... There was also a miss.Wow there tonight.
Miss Wow is the girl who weights close to what you do but can do 10X more then you. I mean she rocked, she did 30 mins elliptical and at least 20 minutes intervals running on the treadmill. I was impressed.

Ever happen??

The following post may contain stuff you don't want to know... but it's my blog and I want to keep it as real as possible.

Don't you hate it when you are doing a great workout... busting your butt with cardio.
Out of nowhere comes the dreaded...POOT!! I have had this happen twice since starting the gym. Thanks goodness that there is no one around to hear or smell it.

Adding to my list of must haves for the gym... butt plug for gassy night. ;-)

Monday nothing to say

I don't like time change... I want my stupid hour back.
There now that I got that off my chest.


I did end up going to the gym Saturday and Sunday. I stayed longer on Saturday but Sunday I had more sweat falling off me. EWW!
March workout goal: 3 down, 12 to go. I CAN MAKE IT!!

As for food I need to learn to only eat when I am hungry this weekend I found myself grazing on anything I could find just because. I was not even hungry. I will need to work on fixing that.

The scale is not showing a good number this morning but I have confidence that I can make it go down before Tuesday. I fluctuate big time from day to day.

Yesterday on my way home there was a little snow fall it made the roads a little slick nothing too bad. I did use that for an excuse not to head into the gym. I must go today.

Why is it people always want to know what my goal will be. If I hear one more time how much more do you want to loose.
It's like when you are dating someone, people ask when you getting married. Then when they do marry they want to know when you are going to have kids. Same concept.

The reason why this bothers me is because I don't have the answer. I have ideas but not definite number in mind. IS THIS BAD??
Listen I am not made to be a size 2... I will probably never been at a perfect BMI... I won't be competing for Canada's next top model.
However, I will be in onderland... I will fit in normal clothes.... I will be as close to healthy as I can be.

Thank you

Thanks to everyone for the awesome support and birthday wishes.

I was excited to read all of your comments, as corny as this may sound, it made my day!


I did indulge in cupcakes at the office. I mean they were made by co worker just for me. Normally we just get supermarket cake,but she knew I LOVE cupcakes. They were cute and delicious. I had one full and then later in the day split half with a friend.
Then another co-worker decided to bring me cookies from home( long story but there was a good reason and joke behind the cookies) Trust me I ate all 3.

The boss really wanted to buy my lunch. I just could not do it. I don't want to start eating out because it becomes a train wreck after that. I was not craving it , I was not having it.

My mother had offered to go out for supper or make me something special but I refused that as well.
Came home had a nice little meal and was happy with my decision.

Happy Friday everyone!

Miracles and birthday!

That's right there was a miracle on the scale... I lost 1 lb to have a grand total of (*drumroll*) 125.6 lbs gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's also my birthday today! Could not have wished for a better gift!

Little update

No big news just wanted to say I actually made it to the gym tonight.

I had made a workout calendar for February and in 28 days, I had 11 (30 minutes or more) workouts in one month.
OK so for most of you that's not a big deal ... To me it's huge. It's the most I have ever workout in my life.
So I made a new calendar for March and hope to have at least 15 workouts.

I need to stop worrying about the number on the scale for awhile. I have lost many inches and need to concentrate on getting fit. Working out is something I need to learn to love. After that the pounds will hopefully be falling off.

What a ride

I do appreciate all the well wishes.

I have no idea what my problem is... It could be just big winter blues. Whatever it is I have been dealing with it a little too long.

I got on the scale this morning... HOLY BATMAN! I suck big time. I had a lot of sodium soaked food. I did nothing at the gym since Tuesday. I deserve a gain.
Sorry folks no 125lbs gone party here Wednesday it's been cancelled postponed until further notice.

It' s been freezing rain and sleet all day. Made it for a rough drive in this morning to work even worse drive home. I had to scrape my windows so much today it should count for activity points.Stupid ice...
I decided not to kill myself to go to the gym. keep in mind I live outside of the city.

Thanks for staying with me. I know I have been an emotional/weight loss roller coaster. I will get better I promise.

Update

I am still alive just not very energetic.

I have zero energy, I can't even eat all my meals. I feel like I need to hibernated for like a month.
I did have some projects I needed to finish for work. I found a way to work from home for these things which makes it easier for me. However I get carried away in my work.
I had a long talk with my boss on Friday about leaving. I have a meeting planned to meet both my boss's next week. I will see how it goes. It's nothing about the job I don't love it's just I feel like it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I wish I could take a correspondence course and get moving in the right direction. I just spin around in circles trying to figure out what I want to do in life.

I did OK for food, except yesterday I had a hard time eating. I made myself supper to not even eat it all. I was still hungry like a couple of hours later, I tried to eat a bowl of cereal took two bites and dumped the rest.
No exercise has been present since Tuesday. I just don't feel like going out.

I am hoping on feeling a bit better by this afternoon. I will try to do groceries.
I had planned on a aquafit class tomorrow and then head to the gym. They are calling for another huge storm. I will play it by ear.


So I did not make my fitness goal... I am going to try again. 5 workouts in one week. Starting today.