Long lonely post

Alright I have some things on my chest I need to get off. This post maybe long and not all about weight loss but I need to deal with it.

I had a bad case of F#$% IT, you know where you come up with an idea but then say F$%& IT.
Like exercising all this week I have just found stupid excuses not to do too much. I ate extra points on 2 days because I just did not care.
So why don't I give a shit sometimes?? Do I deliberately set myself up for disaster?

Lately, I have two things on the back of my mind. The first is an issue I have is work related. I wish not to discuss any of that here...
Second I think I need more social in my life.
Let's start from the very beginning...
I believe in quality of friendship and not quantity, but at my age all of my friends are either with someone, married, and/or has children. This makes for nights out impossible.
1997, I had my first real boyfriend, I must say this is not a mistake in my life. Our relationship lasted 9 years we lived together and have had great memories. At the end of things we broke up two years ago.
I was a mess, all over the place. I was obese, lost my boyfriend, lost my house, brand new car and in the long run thought I was gonna die.
Now fast forward two years, I am seriously happy that I have re found my independence, I have become a stronger woman, I have taking my life into my own hands and lost 116 lbs!
Everything happens for a reason, I am lucky to have been one of those people who see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Now the problem with all of this is.. I want to start seeing people. I need to socialize if I am ever gonna meet someone special.
I am so shy and anti social it's the hardest obstacle to overcome. I just can't grasp the concept of meeting new people.
I keep saying no men is interested in me because of my size.
What I have finally realized after two years of soul searching, is that Mr. Right does not have my address I need to put myself out there and show my personality.
Here I am another Saturday night eating baby carrots and wishing I could be out meeting new peeps! LOL

So for the time being I am content with my doggies, making myself a better person one step at a time. I am a home body so I am liking my new life, but just wished I could meet someone to share my life with.
Loosing weight is for myself but I am hoping it brings me closer to my real life goals!
P.S I don't think loosing weight will fix all my problems, I do however believe it will give the last boost I need.
P.P.S If any of you know single normal men send them my way.. LOL!!